As of today, I am no longer employed. Today was my last day before my maternity leave. I am not planning to return to working outside the home for the very long forseeable future (as long as I am raising my children).
It feels so…
weird…
and emotionally draining. It’s a lot of pressure. Probably pressure that I’m putting on myself… or rather fear perhaps. Fear of the unknown… nervousness… trepidation…
I’ve only been wanting this job (as a stay-at-home-mom) for like my entire life, so what’s the problem? (Other than the fact that I have absolutely no training, no idea what to expect, terrifying stories from everyone including the guy who sold me a new pillow at Sleep Country Canada, and am assuming the full responsibility for another human being and how he or she turns out).
Gulp.
I’ve been so busy with work I haven’t had time to think about this. But yeah, now I have time. 10 days ’til D-day. 9 tomorrow. 8 the next day. This countdown has to end somewhere, and I’m just not sure I’m ready!
I’m sure these feelings are all normal (the great internet says so). I know that in my head. But my heart is about ready to jump out of my chest and abandon ship for fear of what’s to come.
Let’s just get this whole labour thing over with, please? I think the only way to cure my fears is to give birth and dive into the role of “mom” headfirst. This “may” sound crazy, but there’s a little voice in my head telling me that I’ll be fine, and that God is ultimately in control and loves this baby more than even me.
So… baby? God? You both hear me? Let’s get this show on the road, eh?
Bring on the raspberry leaf tea…
Filed under: Contentment, SO EXCITED!!!, Waiting, YAY BABIES!, doctor stuff, milestones
Apparently I’m now full-term (Full-term is 37 weeks according to my doctor), so I’m “allowed” to have this baby any day now. It’s such a weird feeling, going to sleep at night wondering if I’ll wake up at 3am with contractions! I’ve been having lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions, which doesn’t mean anything about when I’ll go into labour… but they sure do make me think about it more!
I don’t really feel anxious to get this baby out though. I’m kind of enjoying these last weeks/days. I am trying to burn into my mind how the kicks and bumps feel, so that I never forget. This is my first pregnancy, and it’s such a special and amazing time in my life. I don’t want to take any moment for granted. I’m also working for one more week, so hoping to get at least that far.
I had a doctor’s appointment today, which took all of like 6 minutes to determine that everything’s normal, and that baby is welcome to arrive anytime he or she pleases. I am certainly thankful for an easy and complication-free pregnancy. What a blessing!!!
I get to meet my baby soon! YEAH!
Filed under: Contentment, I'm gonna be a Mom?!, Waiting, YAY BABIES!, milestones, pregnancy symptoms, yikes!
Wowsers! I am 37 weeks pregnant today. Honestly that felt like FOREVER away when I first found out I was pregnant. And finding out I was pregnant feels like FOREVER ago. I can’t believe it’s so close!!!
Here’s what the good ol’ interweb has to say about my little monkey as of today (or an average of all little monkeys everywhere): Your baby weighs close to 6.5 pounds / 2.8 kilograms and may be about 20 inches / 50 centimetres long from head to toe. No wonder it’s a huge procedure just rolling over at night! This baby belly is h-e-a-v-y!!!
And here is what the average 37 week fetus (aka unborn baby) looks like:
The babe
Isn’t she/he adorable? lol.
By the way, I am so stinkin’ confused about my due date. You’d think I’d have figured this out a while ago. But I am confused nonetheless. Is it the 8th, the 9th, or the 10th? I don’t know. I think I’m gonna go with the 8th, because I want to have the babe earlier rather than later! I’m hoping I can have the baby early enough that I can see all the PM’s, especially Geoff and Kim & new baby Madelyn, before they all go home on the 13th or so. But really, I know, it’s all up to baby! (or God, actually!)
I am feeling pretty good… I mean I have the usual complaints related to being 37 weeks pregnant, like it hurts to walk, and I’m humongous, and I pee every hour, and don’t sleep well… not to mention the swollen ankles and water retention…
BUT all that means pretty much nothing when I think about the amazing miracle that I’m going to meet soon!
(And yes, as of now, I still want 5 kids! But I guess I’ll wait until I’ve gone through labour to say it again!)
Oh, and my wonderful mother-in-law is coming over to clean the house (which is amazingly sweet and incredibly helpful)… and my mom is coming over to help me with some other projects and more “getting ready for baby” stuff on Saturday. I’m so glad to be close to family right now!
One last thing… my mom thinks I’m gonna deliver early (she thinks around Sept.1, so we’ll see!!). Yikes!!
(Just as I’m pressing “publish”… baby is having hiccups again…)
Filed under: Uncategorized
Dear baby,
You are only a few weeks (4 and a half or so) away from being born. You are currently hanging out in my belly, and although it’s been hard having you wreak all sorts of havoc on my body, it’s generally been pretty cool. Like right now for instance. You have hiccups. I can tell from the rhythmic bump feeling I keep getting down around where your head is. It’s kinda hard to explain how it feels. Kinda like a tiny drum is being beat steadily. Kinda like when I get hiccups, only no one can hear it, I can only feel it.
It’s pretty amazing actually. OK, it’s downright adorable. You are adorably cute. I may be slightly biased, but hey, what are moms for anyway, if not to believe whole-heartedly that the child they’ve never even met is wonderfully adorably no doubt the cutest thing in the world. Apparently I’m sliding into the “mom” role, no problem. I may not have a clue how to be a parent, but baby there is one thing that I know I’ll have no trouble with – loving you!
Can’t wait to meet you soon,
Love,
Mom
Holy moley! Only 5 weeks until my due date… and that means only 3 weeks until I am “full-term”. (Since babies are born on average between 38 and 42 weeks, they use 40 weeks as your due date, but the average baby is fully ready anytime after 38 weeks).
I am working until I am 38 weeks and 3 days, so hopefully this baby will need to cook just a little longer. 40 weeks would be just perfect, as far as my schedule goes (I say with tongue-in-cheek… or whatever that saying is that means what I am trying to say… I’m bad with using the right saying… so confusing…).
Anyway…
5 more weeks!!!!!
I partially packed the hospital bag (can’t very well put in stuff like my toothbrush, etc. or my going home outfit, since I only own like 3 outfits that still fit me). Hubby is as wonderful as ever, giving me foot rubs and back rubs, and being super understanding like 24/7. He’s awesome, and I’m so excited to see him grow into being a daddy!
Enough of my rambling. That’s pretty much all you’re gonna get here from now on. Baby brain is now at it’s height, and my world is about to change in major ways!!!
